The famous Chinese Guy

When I came to the United States I already spoke English. But even so, there some things that were knew to me. My sponsors me ajudaram muito besides providing a place for me to live until I was established with my wife and kids at an apartment offered by the school where I went to study. This incident is about something important I learned from them about a Chinese guy.

I did not have a car at the beginning and walked a lot (and was skinny obviously.) Well, I started to notice many differences between the streets in Brazil and those of the United Stated, but one thing in special caught my attention all the time and I could not find any logic explanation for that. I would think and think and could not find anything from what I learned in the past that could explain the phenomenon. When I could not take it anymore, I went to my sponsors and with great curiosity asked them why they had on their streets the name of this Chinese guy in places that had nothing to do with China. Where I lived there was no Chinatown and such. And it was not just there that I could see that name. It was in Salt Lake City, everywhere! Maybe he was some famous Chinese guy from times past, when they built the railroad. The lines from East and West met in Promontory Utah. Maybe it had to do with that. But why only in some places and not others? At last I took the courage to ask, took a big breath and went on. I could not take it anymore!

- Can you tell me why you have the name of this Chinese guy in signs around town? - I asked innocently.
- What Chinse guy? We don't even have a Chinatown here! - they answered
- I remember the name, wait, it's Ped Ximg (pronounced as a Brazilian would do: Pehd Ching) - I repplied.
- Ped Xing (they pronounced it like I did to try and understand what I was trying to say)? We don't know any Ped Xing! - they explained
- But I see the yellow signs with this name all the time! - I insisted with conviction.
- How do you spell it? - they asked now very curious about it.
- PED XING - I wrote in capital big letters on a piece of paper.

They laughed at that and immediately explained:

- It is not the name of a Chinese guy! It is the acronym for PEDESTRIAN CROSSING! Here use the letter X for acronyms like XMAS as in Christmas, or XING as in Crossing. So, PED is for Pedestrian and XING is for crossing!

Silly me! That made perfect sense except one was Cross the other was Christ but that is OK... they have something to do with each other right? I am not sure that in some places in China they could make that relation though. If I ever go to a mission with my wife to China I may have to tell this story and then start talking about the gospel. I think it would be a great introduction. What do you think?

Everything was so fascinating back then! Who would ever think of using an X that way? Now I look at the street signs with fondness missing those days when I was learning new things of the English language (sigh).

A Monkey bit me!!!! Brother Bueno bit me!!!

When I was little one of my nicknames was "Perigoso" ("Dangerous" in Portuguese)... I don't know why (hehe.) Well, my brother should know better. One day he took me to one of his business trips and took me to a little zoo in some little town in São Paulo, Brazil. I don't know where he went but I was alone at one point in front of the monkey cage. There were a momma monkey with her babies and there I was with candy in my hands. The candy I am talking about is called "Dadinho" (little dice) and it was made of peanuts and wrapped in the fashion you see of a picture of a Dadinho. They still make that candy and wrap it the same way but I think I was about 12 years old or something back when (we are talking mid 60's.)

So, I thought I would give candy to the monkey. I threw one, wrapped of course, and she grabbed it and carefully unwrapped the candy and shared with the baby monkeys. I thought it was sooo cool! So, I threw another one but this one fell between the bars, inside enough that I could not reach it very well to retrieve it and try to throw it again. So, I stretched my arm as far as I could and stick my middle finger between the bars and was actually able to touch the candy but out of nowhere I saw this monkey head on top of my finger. She bit me!!! And she would not let go!!!! She was biting me so hard that I could not even feel the pain. I thought she was going to take the tip of my finger off.

So there I was, unsupervised, no one near, trying to convince the monkey to let go my finger. The only tactic was to start pulling my hand as hard as I could and in the process hitting her head against the bars... hehehe... it was one of those Eduardo Bueno moments that unfortunately could not be filmed. She finally let go and as I said, I could not feel my finger. It was numb but I did hold the tip of the finger down and ran to my brother. I had to take some shots but to this day I am not sure who contaminated whom.

The next event which I decided to put here is related, I guess, because years later, when I am already married and a Sunday School teacher, one of the teenagers in my class stole the only chalk I had. His name was Don. He used to sit in the back, and he would not give it back to me. So, in a Christlike way, I went on with the lesson and when they were snoozing enough I gave a very long verse of the Bible to one of the girls to read.

As she was reading and they were in teenage trance, I went to the back and very nicely asked him to give me back my chalk. He refused!!!! So, my monkey instincts took over and I wrestled him to the ground, making the chair fly and the class wake up, and as he was down there subdued by this 40 something now not as nice Sunday School teacher, I demanded he gave me the chalk.

He refused and I did what any normal person who was been bitten by a monkey would: I bit him very hard in the hand and he let go the chalk.

The class was in an uproar with the scene! He was there holding his hand saying "He bit me! He bit me!" I wonder if he was telling the class or trying to tell himself what just happened because he could not believe Brother Bueno would actually bit him to get the chalk... hahahah. He was in "chalk"!

I was able to continue the class in peace after that (well, the adrenaline rush was good to wake everyone up actually.) I was true to my nickname "Perigoso" after all and they learned to respect me.

Actually, they loved me so much after then. I think I became their favorite Sunday School teacher and as for Don, I see him in church to this day and I ask him how his hand is doing and he is just fine. Unlike Spider Man, Monkey Man here was bitten, got his powers and responsibilities, but never really mastered jumping from building to building yet. Biting is OK, but I never bite anyone as a software trainer. People are so sensitive nowadays! Do you think if I bit someone they would sue me today? I think they would. I better stick to my Monkey business and refrain from biting... hehe. That is my adventure with bites.

Who's afraid of Eduardo Bueno?

My wife and I were in Portland, Maine, back in August 2006, visiting different landmarks during one of my business trips. One night we went to get some money at an ATM machine and it was a dark place, there was a construction going on. The machine was behind a building and as my wife was trying to get some money I thought of scaring her because it is fun to scare her...

I walked around the corner and the building had some inlets where a person would fit perfectly and would be able to hide. I told her that it was a dangerous place and someone could rob us or something. So I hid there and waited for her to show up. She took a long time in that machine, I am not sure what was going on, but by the time she passed by I had forgotten why I was there, lost in my own thoughts, and I GOT SCARED! I went Ahhh and Boooohhh very fast but I could not fool her.

She did not know what to say because it was very silly. She asked me nicely "I scared you, didn't I?" and I had to admit. It was a typical scene of some TV episode and we laughed at that. Now my kids say it was a Mr. Bean thing... to try to scare someone and end up being scared. Oh well, that was just another adventure of Eduardo Bueno (being dumb!)

Lost at airpot - Where is my shuttle????

This is one of those things people hear me tell when I am training them during my business trips and people ask me to repeat it over and over. I think it is funny too because it is like an episode of a sitcom but it really happened!!! Here goes:

It was November 2007 and I was coming back from an assignment in the Dominican Republic and as soon as took my sit on the plane I thought: "Wait a minute! I am going to arrive at JFK airport around 7:30 p.m. and my flight only leaves at 11:30 a.m. the next day! I need a hotel!" - so I took the itinerary from my pocket and called the hotel that was there.

"I am going to arrive at the airport around 7:30 p.m. and I need a room to stay to wait for my flight the next day. So, I don't need anything fancy, nothing expesive..."
"OK, Sir. I have a room for $60. Is that OK?"
"Sure! How do I get to your hotel?"
"Just call me when you get there and we will pick you up."

So, I arrived on time and it was freezing cold. I went to where the shuttles come and called him on my cell phone again. He told me he was sending the driver right away, asked me how I was dressed, and we hung up.

I waited and waited and saw shuttles from every hotel pass by at least three times. Then I called that hotel a little upset and asked him what was going on. He said that the driver had gone to the airport and had not seen anyone with my description and went back to the hotel. I was very upset and he told me he was going to send him again and he was going to pay attention but I was supposed to make sure I was in the right terminal. He asked me if I could see the sky!!!

"The sky? What does that have to do with this?" - I asked
"Well, if you are in the right place you cannot see the sky." - he said

I told him I could see the sky. He told me to go one floor below, but I was at ground level, there was nothing below! So I asked him if it was a subway because there was nothing below me. He told me to go back to the airport and look for a certain gate. I did that but did not find any gate with the description he gave me and went back to where everyone was waiting for shuttles. He missed me again of course.

So, I called very angry this time and he insisted I was in the wrong terminal and had to go back and ask someone at the airport. I did and no one could tell me where that terminal was. Then I gave the cell phone to a police officer who was angry at the hotel guy because I was roaming the airport for a while now! He told him I was not going to go to any terminal and I was going to wait for him at Budget Rental Car across the street. We were all in agreement and I headed to Budget Rental Car.

When the guy at Budget learned that I was not there to rent a car he made sure I was not welcome there so I went outside where it was freezing cold. I was tired and it was almost one hour and a half of waiting and walking around. This time I was REALLY angry and called him back and said that I did not want a shuttle anymore, that I was going to sleep at the airport. He said that I should not do that and that they were already at Budget Rental Car. That really made me mad. There was no shuttle there!!! I told him he was a liar. He told me to look in the back. It was a construction! So I told him that now I knew he was crazy because I was there and there was no shuttle. He responded that the shuttle was there and I was the one missing. It was like Twilight Zone.

So I said: "You know what? I think it is true what they say about people in New York. You are all very rude!"

He said: "Sir, where are you???"

I responded: "Hey, this is not funny, I already told you that I am at Budget Rental Car."

The he said: "Sir, I am in Dallas. Where are you?"
I did no want to say it but had to: "JFK..."

It just happened that I took the wrong itinerary from my pocket and had called the hotel in Dallas (because in that one I was going to spend a night there... but I never told the guy what airport I was going to and he did not tell me where his hotel was. We both assumed we were talking about the same city! What are the odds???? So, this guy was looking for me in Texas while I was at in New York!!!!!!! Duh!!!! It can happen to anyone! Or maybe not... hehe... So, he said:

"I guess we are not going to find you here, are we?" he said
"Unless your driver can come to New York???" I mumbled slowly
"Not tonight" he said with a smile in his voice - this guy was amazing! anyone else would curse : )

Well, little while after that I taking that itinerary and was in Dallas. As I waited for the shuttle I looked up and could not see the sky and the terminal was right! Amazing! I asked Mike, the driver, if he remembered a guy in New York that was waiting for him the previous week.

He knew that story very well because, he said, he was almost fired for not finding the guy. Then I raised my hand and confessed it was I. We took a picture together at the hotel. He was a good sports about it. Too bad I can't find that picture. Oh well. It is crazy, I know, but that is just me! What can I do???

Not everything that looks like a cucumber is...

Has anybody eaten a vegetable sponge? I am not talking about those that grow in the ocean, this is something common in Brazil and people use it to scrub themselves when they take a shower!!! I ate one and I am going to confess right now!!! Considering that I am the one with whom so many things happened because I am not so normal I hope no one will doubt my story. Too bad aunt Nair is already gone because she would confirm this very fast. Now, before I tell you the story, let's establish that everyone knows what a vegetal sponge is. Some of the English speaking readers of my blogs (there is a mirror of this blog in Portuguese) I know that there will be people out there (and maybe even some young Brazilians) who never saw a "bucha" (pronunce boo-shah), the luffa. 

Here goes: You can see up there some dried vegetable "buchas" cut in pieces. It looks ugly but it was just like that and if it is still popular in Brazil (tell me if you are in Brazil) and we would buy them in the street market to use when we showered. They invented the fake sponges eventually, but who knows from what time they started using buchas? The vegetal bucha is the fruit of a vine that bears green and yellow flowers, from African origins, taken to Brazil by the slaves. Here is an example of such flower which by the way is beautiful: 

 For those who don't know, the Brazilians improved the way they market buchas and I was looking in the internet and found this:

As y ou can see there are wigs made of bucha, bucha mounted in fabric whic is better to hold when you taking a shower, and Lampião and Maria Bonita (Brazilian Bonnie and Clyde) made of bucha. 

Well, the story is that I went to visit my aunt Nair in Ferraz de Vasconcelos (a city in the state of São Paulo, Brazil) one day. I liked going there because the majority of the streets were not alphalt and it was interesting to explore for they were not like the streets of São Paulo, they had trees and hills that I liked climb down... not up... but I liked everything there. There was also a lot of cousins that I loved to play with. But one day, I am not sure why, I was alone exploring the region. In a street that was not very far from Aunt Nair´s house, I saw a vine of this kind: 

     

If you have never seen a cucumber vine it looks just like it. And that is exactly what I thought. I saw a whole bunch of cucumbers hanging on that vine and I could not resist. Do you think that the cucumbers that are hanging on the side of the street are for you and you are not stealing? I hope not. The vine had a lot of "cucumbers" that were hanging on "my side" of the fence giving me the right to get one, what I did in a second. Don´t think that I am crazy, take a look at the buchas before they dry them and sell them in the street market!

Well, I took a bite of that strange "cubumber" and immediately noticed that the flavor was not right. I thought it was not ripe and that was what was wrong with it. So, I took it to my aunt and showed it to her. I still remember laughing at me. "Mineiro!" (that was my nickname because I was born in a state called Minas Gerais) "That thing is a bucha young man!" Ahahahahaha... I did not think it was funny then but now I remember that moment tenderly. She was laughing there not believing that I had taken a bite of a bucha. I am not sure how I survived by childhood anyway. There are lots of stories to tell you here that if my mom was alive she would pass out because it was like falling from a wall here and another one there and losing my breath and staying on the ground trying to breath again, things that moms are not suppose to know. She ended up knowing about the bucha because Aunt Nair told her. Now you are all warned. You can use it as a popular proverb: Not everything that looks like a cucumber is!

Growing up in Brazil, I liked to watch a very special TV show in the 60's called Lost in Space. The picture here is in color but I always watched it in black and white. We did not have a color TV until the mid 70's. I mean, the TV had a color, I think it was brown, but being a bit colorblind I can't really tell. Color TV did not arrive to Brazil until the beginning of the 70's because a military president of Brazil who was of German descent, Ernesto Geisel, brought it to Brazil when I was in junior high. He chose The PAL European color system insted of the NTS American system (of course just to tell the US his military regime did not care about any pressure from the Empire). It took a while to get a color TV because they were very expensive. I would walk to the Parque São Jorge State High School and would watch color TV through the windows of the stores along Avenida Celso Garcia, in São Paulo.

But going back to Lost in Space, I would not miss one episode. I imagined myself as Will Robinson of course in those incredible adventures in the planets they landed when they were able to go from one to another. But there were times they stayed a long time in one planet. I think they would run out of money for the stage and stuff but I would not think like that... I would concentrate on the weird and sometimes fun aliens they would find. I did not understand how Dr. Zachary Smith could be such a jerk. He would do stupid things and then would cry like a baby to get help. One day he was all silver, very powerful, and controlled an army of robots like the one they had, but in miniature.
But oh, how I wanted a robot like that, spitting deadly rays from the hook hands they made for him!!! Today I had a replica of that robot in my cubicle at work. Although I travel a lot, when I come back, I find my robot waiting for me in the office. My miniature robot says the basic:

"Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!"

"That does not compute!"

"Warning! Warning!"

OK... you may think that this is not my hand and that I got this picture in the internet somewhere, but here goes the whole pictures so you can see that I am indeed holding my robot in my cubicle. In fact I have a lot of toys on the shelf of my cubicle. People see it and it is difficult for them to think that I will ever get over my childhood... hehe.

This picture shows their traveling uniform. I sure would like to have one of those uniforms just like Will´s to travel in space. I don´t care that it looks like a silver pajama. One day my wife will come to the bedroom and see me wearing a pajama like that and will then understand that I have arrived to my mid age crisis... hehe. Her mom warned her but she would not listen...

But it was in that outfit that they would enter that "freezer" (cryogenic chamber) and travel very far in the flying saucer. The next picture is a scene of the show when they were about to take off. Don´t we all want to do that sometimes? The advantage of the cryogenic chamber is that we would not get old. It starts right there. Then there is the fact that you don´t have to pay bills anymore, and who knows what other things people would like to get if they could visit the stars.

There were some unforgettable episodes, like when they go back to Earth in the 50´s and Dr. Smith says he is from "Cachoeirinho do Sul" (I wonder who invented that translation to Portuguese... it was great!). I remember when they found an android woman who ended up crying and the space merchant was convinced to not disassemble her. He would hit his mouth with the palm of his hand, fix up his mustache and hit the shoes together before marching to his space transporter. The machines of the interstellar market were incredible. They were boxes with some cheap graphics but very convincent for people my age at the time. Lost in Space kept me in the air. There was a chocolate factory (Dizziolli) that made a promotion in which you could win a flying saucer just like Jupiter 2. I never bought any of those chocolates but I would go Mr. Alfredo´s grocery store and would look at them, take them in my hands, and "play" right there.

One day I invented a comic book that I used to make them myself, with 3 sheets of typewriter paper. I would fold them in the middle and sew them in the sewing machine that my mother had, thus making the magazine. I would put crosswords that I would create on my own, and a page for coloring, code words, and stories. I will put the whole magazine here later, but here goes some pages that I made with the story of Lost in Space the way I was able to draw back then of course.

You will see below page 1 of the story of Lost in Space in my actual hand made comic book. The way write the names is silly... hehe.. I am Eduardo Robin (I could not write Robinson because it would take too much space). Pay attention to the monster that ends this story written around 1966 then think of the monster Dr. Smith turned into in the 1996 version of the series in the big screen. I think is freaky that I got that close to what they envision the big problem of the Lost In Space movie would be. Here goes:

Click the image to see it closer.
After that use the back button to return to the blog.

Here is how Dr. Smith ends up in the featured movie of 1996:

When my son turned one year old in 1986 the cake was in the form of Jupiter 2, the flying saucer of the Robinson family. I made a replica of the the thing, with the window and you could see the computers inside. The flying saucer was the box for the frozen cake my mother-in-law made. The pieces were wrapped in aluminum foil which made the party look very out of this world. I think that´s when I close the chapter of the flying saucer that was missing when I was little. Here is a picture of us on Danny's first birthday... Look closely at the Jupiter 2 on the alien planet table and the planets that were hanging from the ceiling. I still love the show. It is on its third season on Netflix in 2021. Thank you Netflix! It is simply fantastic!

Here are some wallpapers of the new Lost in Space...

Watch the trailer on Season 1 (still available)

LOST IN SPACE NETFLIX OFFICIAL TRAILER

National Kid

Another show in television that I would not miss was National Kid. The show was in japonese, and there was this guy who turned into National Kid, who was a giant that wore a silver costume made of rubber (in fact it could be yellow but our TV was black and white, so let's stick with silver for now). The mask added a special detail for the eyes like giant sun glasses. People would make that mask with their hands by placing the thumb and the indicator fingers together forming a circle, and placing that circle above the eyes while turning the palm of the hands toward the forhead... it looked just like it! Look here, I will show you an example so you can do the same and show it to your friends during a business meeting just before you close a contract, or in a very fancy restaurant, wedding, wherever you want:

Well, National Kid was always fighting rubber monsters who were always destroying Tokio. I think Tokio was rebuilt a thousand times because every other episode there was another mad lizzard for National Kid to fight with. He would cross his hands and from there these rays would come out and get rid of the monster, but before using that lethal weapon, he would kick and punch them a lot... a little slower than the normal speed of the movie of course that when he was his normal size as a person. Sometimes he would turn around very fast, but when he was in slow motion he was being very serious. Ah... TV was always so violent!

Then there were the Venuzian Incas! What was the name of that sexy alien woman that was their leader? Humm, I can't remember, but she was amazing. I remember when he wanted to steal the cobalt bomb that the Japonese invented that healed everything, or gave power to the whole city, not sure, but it was a big mistake. I know that it was important and she did what she could to get that cobalt bomb. I remember when the Venuzian Incas left in their flyaing saucers when she lost to National Kid. It was a happy day... I was already tired of them anyway. And who invented that concept of Venuzian Incas anyway? Such a mixture of things!!! I have not seen imagination like that on TV for a long time!

Take a look at the show's opening. I used to sing that to Dona Maria, a Japanese lady that lived in the villa next to my house. She was Japanese alright and used to call my mom "Orega" although her name was "Olga." We loved Dona Maria! But I will talk about her later. This is the theme song that I sang to her and never left my mind: