When I was little one of my nicknames was "Perigoso" ("Dangerous" in Portuguese)... I don't know why (hehe.) Well, my brother should know better. One day he took me to one of his business trips and took me to a little zoo in some little town in São Paulo, Brazil. I don't know where he went but I was alone at one point in front of the monkey cage. There were a momma monkey with her babies and there I was with candy in my hands. The candy I am talking about is called "Dadinho" (little dice) and it was made of peanuts and wrapped in the fashion you see of a picture of a Dadinho. They still make that candy and wrap it the same way but I think I was about 12 years old or something back when (we are talking mid 60's.)So, I thought I would give candy to the monkey. I threw one, wrapped of course, and she grabbed it and carefully unwrapped the candy and shared with the baby monkeys. I thought it was sooo cool! So, I threw another one but this one fell between the bars, inside enough that I could not reach it very well to retrieve it and try to throw it again. So, I stretched my arm as far as I could and stick my middle finger between the bars and was actually able to touch the candy but out of nowhere I saw this monkey head on top of my finger. She bit me!!! And she would not let go!!!! She was biting me so hard that I could not even feel the pain. I thought she was going to take the tip of my finger off.
So there I was, unsupervised, no one near, trying to convince the monkey to let go my finger. The only tactic was to start pulling my hand as hard as I could and in the process hitting her head against the bars... hehehe... it was one of those Eduardo Bueno moments that unfortunately could not be filmed. She finally let go and as I said, I could not feel my finger. It was numb but I did hold the tip of the finger down and ran to my brother. I had to take some shots but to this day I am not sure who contaminated whom.
The next event which I decided to put here is related, I guess, because years later, when I am already married and a Sunday School teacher, one of the teenagers in my class stole the only chalk I had. His name was Don. He used to sit in the back, and he would not give it back to me. So, in a Christlike way, I went on with the lesson and when they were snoozing enough I gave a very long verse of the Bible to one of the girls to read. As she was reading and they were in teenage trance, I went to the back and very nicely asked him to give me back my chalk. He refused!!!! So, my monkey instincts took over and I wrestled him to the ground, making the chair fly and the class wake up, and as he was down there subdued by this 40 something now not as nice Sunday School teacher, I demanded he gave me the chalk.
He refused and I did what any normal person who was been bitten by a monkey would: I bit him very hard in the hand and he let go the chalk.
The class was in an uproar with the scene! He was there holding his hand saying "He bit me! He bit me!" I wonder if he was telling the class or trying to tell himself what just happened because he could not believe Brother Bueno would actually bit him to get the chalk... hahahah. He was in "chalk"!
I was able to continue the class in peace after that (well, the adrenaline rush was good to wake everyone up actually.) I was true to my nickname "Perigoso" after all and they learned to respect me.
Actually, they loved me so much after then. I think I became their favorite Sunday School teacher and as for Don, I see him in church to this day and I ask him how his hand is doing and he is just fine. Unlike Spider Man, Monkey Man here was bitten, got his powers and responsibilities, but never really mastered jumping from building to building yet. Biting is OK, but I never bite anyone as a software trainer. People are so sensitive nowadays! Do you think if I bit someone they would sue me today? I think they would. I better stick to my Monkey business and refrain from biting... hehe. That is my adventure with bites.
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